After a week or two of celebrating graduation, the reality of unemployment came roaring back in full force. I have never been very successful at finding a job right away, and my focus has been very distracted with school and family issues taking up all the space in my mind. At first, I was fine with the slow process and occasional rejection letters. I had a good interview though I didn’t get the job, but I wasn’t disheartened or too discouraged by it. More would come.
Now a month has gone by and the initial panic is starting to set in. I write endless cover letters that are starting to blend together and send resumes into the void of the Internet called Edjoin. I can’t help but compare myself to others who’ve gotten jobs right away or have tons of interviews lined up. I question my self-worth and wonder if there’s something wrong with me that keeps me from getting any offers. Once again, I am on this journey where I can only see the day of job applications ahead of me and nothing else.
In short: job searching is depressing.
I know that my self-worth is not and should not be attached to a career path or how many interviews I’m able to score, but I can’t help it. I can’t help but compare myself to others no matter how much I tell myself not to, no matter how I try to distract myself. Despite all of the advice and help I’ve received in this process, I can’t quite figure out what I’m doing wrong. Maybe nothing. Maybe everything.
Sometimes it’s invigorating not having the future mapped out, but at times like this, it’s scary.
I would have hoped that by twenty-seven I would have had it all together, but life continues to throw me for a loop. Let’s be real: getting another expensive degree does not guarantee a job. It should, but it doesn’t. I wish we didn’t treat it as though it does.
But–and here’s the silver lining–as I have seen over and over again these past several years, timing is everything. So, I guess that means I just have to wait. And apply. And wait some more. I guess I’ll read some books or something while I’m at it.
If you have job searching tips, leave a reply below! I would love to hear your thoughts.
Long Live the Twenties 